How to Deal With a Sexless Marriage?

Lack of sex is one of the common marriage problems, and it can be difficult to handle. There are numerous reasons why couples are not having sex, and the majority of them are solvable. Some easier than others, but there is always a solution. If you are looking for a couple of relationship tips and ways to improve your marriage, we have a couple of tricks that might be able to help you.

Sexless Marriage

Being in a sexless marriage or relationship doesn’t mean that the couple will stop having sex completely. Having intercourse once or twice a year can still fall into this category. In essence, having sex rarely or completely abstaining is what people call sexless relationships. These phenomena can affect both men and women, and there are many different reasons why it might happen. 

However, whether the lack of sex is a problem or not is entirely up to you. Some people have lower sex drives, or they practice chastity for whatever reason. And they have no problem with that. For them, a lack of intimacy might not be a bigger problem. For others, emotional and physical intimacy will both play an important role. 

The Culprit

There are numerous reasons why married couples will not have sex. Probably the most common reason is lack of communication. There is a high chance that the couple have different sex drives and that they might not be in the mood at the same time. Furthermore, for couples with children where both spouses have jobs, time for sex and intimacy is quite limited. 

They spend part of the day at the job, and the other part is reserved for kids and house activities. It is nearly impossible to find time for yourself (and your partner), especially if the children are small. 

The easiest way to avoid problems like different work schedules, different shifts, and non-synchronized sex drives is to plan it together. Whether you decide to take a vacation together or to have scheduled sex, the result will be the same. 

Finally, we should mention the last reason why marriage might be sexless — cheating. Some people have trouble staying faithful, and their sexual needs might be satisfied. However, their partner will remain at home frustrated and without any idea of what’s happening. 

The Importance of Sex in Marriage

When you are married, sex is important. At least for the majority of people. Some don’t care about banging, and they don’t mind being in a sexless relationship. But for all others, it is one of the most important parts of life. The first reason why it is so important is that it fosters intimacy. Married couples share everything, and emotional intimacy is deepened even further during sex. 

Enjoyable sex is the best way to relieve stress and feel good. It will also improve communication and problem-solving skills. And even if you aren’t into exercising, it is an excellent way to burn a few calories. 

There are many other physical benefits of sex, and it is ultimately a celebration of marriage (or relationship). 

Dealing With a Sexless Marriage

One of the first things you need to ask yourself is whether you are satisfied with your relationship/marriage. There is no norm for the amount of sex you need to have, and as long as it works for you and your partner, it’s fine. We are mostly talking about people who aren’t satisfied with how things are going. That doesn’t include those who are into chastity or who are abstaining on purpose. 

So, what can you do if this is something that bothers you? The answer is communication. You need to talk to your partner openly and honestly. There might be a reasonable explanation for why you are not having sex, and the only way to know it is to be open about everything. 

Communication can solve a lot of problems but not all of them. There is still a chance that you won’t find a solution just by talking, and there might be other things you need to consider. That includes sex therapists too. Sex therapy is an excellent way to find a middle ground and get a second opinion from a professional. Unfortunately, many people are unwilling to take this step out of fear, and they often believe that therapy is a sign of weakness. 

That is rubbish. If you can find a solution to your problem by talking to someone with years of experience, then it is the right thing to do.  

When to Call It Quits?

Solving your problem should be your number one priority. Being unsatisfied in marriage can be quite challenging, and there is no reason for you to suffer. Whether you opt for sex therapy, talking to your partner, or anything else, your priority should be to improve your life quality. 

However, sometimes, that is not possible, and you need to know when to call it quits. Of course, we are not saying that sex is the most important thing and that it is the only reason people are in relationships. There are so many other important reasons, maybe even more important than sex. But that doesn’t make sex insignificant. 

If your partner is neglecting your wishes, desires, and urges, even after you’ve talked to them about everything, that’s a sign of a much deeper problem. Sometimes, there is no way to fix a relationship, and in that case, sex is just one of the symptoms. The main problem is that the other person doesn’t care about you at all. 

Finally, if they are cheating, that is a clear sign that the relationship is already over. For all couples in an open relationship, cheating is not a problem since it doesn’t exist. But for everyone else, it is a breach of trust, and there is no reason for you to suffer any longer. 

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