If you ask any happily married couple how they made it through all the trials and the tribulations throughout the years, they might begin with one common marriage tip. That is, they might say that things seem easy in the beginning but seldom stay that way.
Happy couples do not dwell on the magic of true love. They focus on mutual commitment, trust, and continuous work on bettering and nurturing their relationship.
Here are some tips on how to enjoy married life every step of the long and bumpy way.
Some might say the key to a good marriage is choosing the right partner. But, no matter how much effort you invest in matchmaking, your work does not end there. A whole life is still in front of you, and so are many and different challenges.
The life cycles also come with specific crises you have to overcome if you wish to save your marriage. Not to mention that having kids is an adventure of its own kind. And it all changes again when they abandon the nest.
Building a career too, for instance, can induce a lot of stress, and you might not always have enough energy left for your family life.
With all that and more in mind, it still seems that the best married life tip is to choose the right partner. The only thing that will keep the roof over your head from collapsing is joining in together to fight the problems off.
Remain Being Best Friends
Marriage life means spending a lot of time with another person. So, your best chance for a stable relationship is to be with someone you share more than a physical bond with. You might not end up marrying your best friend, but, eventually, you could find one in the person you tied the knot with.
Of course, having a friend in your spouse does not guarantee a successful marriage. But, it gives you a strong foundation for the development of a long-standing and healthy relationship. As a lifelong friend, your spouse should be your closest confidant, but they don’t have to agree with you all the time. Remember, we share our deepest secrets with our friends, but we also have our disputes. These experiences only make the fellowship stronger.
Maintain Sex Life
Once the kids come, or life gets its grip on you, it could turn your days into a survival-oriented routine. And regular sex is usually its first casualty.
You don’t need a relationship coach to know that a lack of intimacy might lead to deeper problems. But, you can work on your sex life. It doesn’t mean you should start scheduling meetings and calculating the statistics in the bedroom (but you can also do that!).
Spend some time together in a relaxed environment. Reclaim the lost passion by expressing your affection more openly (Do you express affection?). Try to maintain regular intercourses. Also, keep in mind that sex is the most natural way to blow off some steam.
Take Care of Yourself
On your first date, you probably activated your thorough scanner to see if your partner checks all the boxes on your hotness list. That is something we all do. One might say that the appearance should not be prioritized over the person’s inner beauty, but this doesn’t mean that the looks shouldn’t count. After all, it’s a biological thing — humans throughout history have been assessing their probable life companions based on their bodies.
However, it’s not like you have to fit any molds. Remaining attractive to each other is important, but it shouldn’t force you to conform to some fake ideals propagated by the prophets of plastic surgery and photo manipulation.
The main point is to stay healthy and sexy to your significant other. Accepting yourself and radiating confidence is still one of the most desirable qualities in a partner for both males and females. And your spouse is most definitely in love with all your little faults and flaws.
You all know the mantra — communication is essential. How else is your spouse to know they shouldn’t post your morning photos on Facebook? Or to acknowledge the work you do for them to keep your flat from turning into a hoarder’s den?
Communication is not only about being open and straightforward; it’s also about being open to someone else’s opinion. Talking about the current state of things and plans for the future is vital, especially when a crisis hits that affects you, your kids, or your personal issues.
You should trust and support each other in any important decision. It is the only way to make your marriage a safe haven.
Don’t Try to Change Each Other
As time goes by, you will learn more and more about your partner. You will start noticing those little things you missed while focusing on the grand picture. Maybe some surprising aspects of their past will resurface. That might cause glitches in the image you created about them. But, they will go through the same learning process about you.
At the beginning of your relationship, you might have thought you could change a thing or two about your partner. But, the truth is, change is always inevitable. Life is a long journey, and we transform ourselves all the time.
Change should not be the result of direct coercion. It happens regardless of others, but it can also happen as a result of interaction with the fellow man. Compromising and meeting halfway is one part of this process. Adjusting yourself to others by listening and recognizing their needs is the other.
A carefully thought out gift or a simple gesture to demonstrate your affection goes a long way. However, your anniversary or their birthday, no matter how important, are not the only time you should leave love notes on the mirror.
The longevity and quality of marriage depend on treasuring each moment with your spouse. Never take what you’ve built together for granted! Not many people are lucky enough to find their soulmate. Be open about your emotions, because while you both might change and mature in time, your feelings should never grow old. Love is always trending, especially the one that has been thriving for years.
Do Things Together
Being married means making life-altering decisions together, sharing responsibilities, going through rough patches. At the same time, you raise your children and juggle between your personal and professional duties. All these things put pressure on your relationship and can end up in identifying stress with married life.
Doing things together is what can restore your intimacy. Having something else to do with your partner, aside from worrying and deciding on who’s taking kids to school tomorrow, will be refreshing and relaxing. Taking dance classes or traveling around the world might seem too romantic, especially if you’re tight on budget or have small kids. However, you can always have a date night or a mutual hobby that doesn’t require too much time or money.
Love Is a Skill
The famous psychoanalyst and philosopher, Erich Fromm, said that love is not just something magical that happens to you — it is something you should constantly work on.
The fact that you can develop love as a skill does not kill the butterflies, though — it only makes them last longer. Of course, it’s not all roses and butterflies. When the going gets rough, you have to remember what you promised each other, for good and for worse. There will be a crisis where distancing is inevitable, or doubting hits you like a truck. But, as long as you know your way back home, you will be good.