Maintaining an active sex life after you’ve had a kid sounds like a dream come true. That’s because it is. Having a baby doesn’t mean you stop having sex. You just need to find different ways to go about it.
Be open and explore new opportunities for fun, sexy times.
How Things Change When the First Baby Comes
We don’t need to tell you all about how you won’t be able to sleep at night — and it’s not because of the amount of sex you’re having. When the baby comes, everything changes.
Suddenly, you have completely different priorities. You have to ensure that your baby is taken care of at any point in time. Not only that, but the child will be with you almost all the time in the beginning. So when’s the right time for sex? Well, you might have to start scheduling it.
Sex life after having kids can be tough to achieve. In fact, you’ll have to do a lot of adjusting in the bedroom. Hearing your baby cry over the monitor in the middle of a doggy kind of tends to kill the mood. That’s why you might have to get familiar with quickies.
It’s easy to time these things when the baby is little, but what happens when they’re a couple of years old and curious? Nobody wants their child walking in on them getting it on. Those are only some of the things you’ll have to deal with and keep in mind. Having sex in peace will be difficult.
No Space or Time for Sex
Sex life after having a baby is… well, interesting. What about when you have more than just one baby? You can consider it practically non-existent. However, let’s not be all negative. There are still ways for you to go about it.
As a parent, you and your needs come second most of the time. Your child comes first, and you need to care for them at all times. We’re talking about playing, taking them for walks, making them food, cleaning around the house, putting them to sleep, etc. You’d think that you can just do it while they’re napping, right? Turns out their nap time is the only time you have to do other things you need to get done.
Sometimes, you might be able to squeeze in a quickie during your child’s nap, but it might get more tricky than you think. Your mind will be in a completely different place, you won’t be able to relax, and you’ll constantly think about what you need to do next. So finding time might end up being the least of your worries after all. You have to be at ease too.
You Can Get More Sex After Having Kids!
As it turns out though, some people have more sex after having kids. Maybe you wanted to be extra safe and had no pregnancy sex — that’s completely fine. That means sexual desire has built up over the months, and now you’re in for some great sex.
Having more sex after having babies isn’t unheard of. However, there’s one important thing to keep in mind. If you don’t want any more kids — for the time being or at all — it’s important to use contraceptives. Do yourself a favor and get some condoms or get on birth control, just so you don’t have to find yourself in unfavorable situations.
The changes after having kids are pretty drastic, but all you need to bypass them is some creativity. You might be a bit tired in the middle of the night, but what’s an hour of sleep compared to steamy sex with your beloved? We’d trade it any day. Plus, sex is amazing for relieving stress, so you’d want to hop on that ride.
Your sex lives don’t have to be put to a halt just because of your child. You can still have fun too. Shower sex doesn’t need to be a thing of the past anymore. Neither does any other kind of sex you used to have.
All you need to do is catch the right moment. If your child is a toddler, you can have all the sex you want while they’re in daycare. What if they’re older? School time is the best for that. Either way, you can have sex even when you have kids. You might want to learn how to be quiet though.
Whatever sexy thing you think is impossible to do now — we encourage you to give it a try.
Address Your Partner’s Needs for a Happier Marriage
If you’re okay with life without sex — or little sex — your partner might not be. Sexless life is not enough for some. It isn’t realistic to expect your partner to just be okay with the changes that are happening because of the baby.
Make sure you sit down with your spouse and discuss this thoroughly. We say thoroughly because it’s important to be on the same page to avoid misunderstandings. Don’t be surprised if your wife asks for sex after pregnancy, especially if you two haven’t had any in a while.
If you don’t resume your usual sexual activities, your overall interest in sex can plummet. Not only that, but this can lead to your partner being unhappy. How would you feel if your sex needs weren’t met? Annoyed, easily agitated? It’s understandable. However, you may not be able to afford those kinds of feelings because you need to be at the top of your game for your child.
That’s why you need to come up with a strategy that will allow you to continue having sex every once in a while. We guarantee that you will have a much happier marriage that way.
Renewed Commitment
If you’re wondering just how important it is for your sex life to resume — it’s crucial. As we all know, not having our needs met can lead to a lot of anxiety and annoyance. In turn, this can cause a lot of arguments, and you won’t be able to do your parental duties well.
Who knew sex would be so important, right? If you’ve never been one of those couples who had sex every single day — you’ll probably be just fine. However, if you’re used to being intimate frequently, you might want to find some ways to resume your sexual activities.
Post-baby life doesn’t need to revolve around the child only. You’re still people with needs, wants, and desires. They’re all worthy of being fulfilled, so don’t let your life come to a halt.
Conclusion
Sex life after having kids indeed exists. All you need to do is find some creativity within you. There’s always going to be time and place for you to have some fun with your spouse.
After all, grandparents exist for a reason. They can take care of the baby every once in a while so that you and your partner can have a hot date and devote some time to each other.