I’ve released hundreds of articles of sex advice through the years… and if you’re new to my site it can seem a bit overwhelming to sort through.
So today, I decided to do a best-of-the-best collection of my fifty sex tips for men.
My female readers will also benefit from many of these tips, but the focus is primarily on the men.
Do you want to build greater sexual stamina, please your partner more fully, enjoy more fulfilling sex, and feel more confident and energized day to day?
Small hinges swing big doors. By putting in just a little bit of energy and attention towards your sex life, you can be experiencing the most deeply fulfilling sex that you’ve ever had.
Let’s get into it.
Without further ado, here are my fifty powerful sex tips for men.
50 Powerful Sex Tips For Men
1. Extend foreplay (by a lot)
According to Taoist sexual philosophy, one of the biggest differences between male and female bodies is that women’s sexual energy begins in the extremities and needs to be guided towards the genitals. Which is a fancy way of saying that most women take a minute to warm up.
One of the highest leverage ways you can improve your sex life is to spend a significant amount of time in foreplay.
By extending foreplay you’ll both have more time to drop in to the moment and you’re both more likely to have multiple orgasms and more powerful orgasms (which I will get into, for both of you, in this list).
2. Learn how to control your ejaculations by practicing becoming multi-orgasmic
Every man has the capacity to become multi-orgasmic, if he knows how to do it correctly.
It all comes down to knowing your body, having a relationship with your ejaculatory ‘point-of-no-return’, and connecting with your breath.
3. Do at least 1-2 high intensity exercise sessions per week
Men get a massive testosterone boost from doing high intensity workouts. Especially when those workouts are filled with heavily weighted compound exercises (i.e. dead lifts, squats, bench press, kettle bell swings, and pull ups).
Work out like this even once or twice a week and you’ll notice an immediate positive impact on your sex drive.
4. Make noise during sex
One of the most common complaints that I hear from my female readers is that their partners are too quiet in bed.
While the strong, stoic, monosyllabic figure of masculinity might be attractive on the big screen, in real life women want a man who can be expressive and vocal… especially when it comes time to fooling around in bed.
Try moaning, grunting, growling, or dirty talking more often in bed. It will help you get out of your head and into your body (aka you’ll experience more pleasure) and your partner will appreciate it.
5. Don’t eat right before sex
Digestion takes blood flow. If your blood is all working on digesting and distributing the nutrients that you’ve plopped down into your belly then it won’t be as likely to be filling your penis with blood to make a satisfying erection.
As much as possible, aim to not eat for at least 60-90 minutes before sexual play.
6. Go pee at least 20 minutes before sex
Taoist sexual philosophy states that men should avoid having sex within 20 minutes of peeing, and I would agree with this sentiment.
If you go pee and then immediately start trying to have sex, 1-3 minutes afterwards, then your penis hasn’t had any time to acclimate to switching roles. By doing this, you’ll be more detached from your sexual pleasure and more likely to prematurely ejaculate.
So by all means, empty your bladder before sex. Just make sure that you take some down time between urination and sex.
Not sure how to pass the time as you’re waiting? Extended foreplay and/or a sensual massage is always a good call.
7. Eat a diet with minimal processed foods to ensure your body is in top working order
As the famous saying goes, you are what you eat.
If you eat crap food, you’ll feel like crap. If you eat healthy, whole, energizing foods, you’ll feel like a healthy, whole, energized person.
Cut back on drinking, smoking, drugs, or overly processed foods. Double down on a colourful array of vegetables, nuts, lean animal proteins, and any supplements that make you feel awesome.
8. Use your words
Dirty talk is so hot when you do it right.
Before sex, tell them what you want to do to them.
During sex, tell them what you love that’s happening.
After sex, tell them what you loved that happened.
9. Stop watching so much porn
Watching even moderate amounts of pornography has been proven to mess with your mind (and ability to perform sexually).
When you watch porn, your brain’s reward circuitry lights up like a Christmas tree. Toss on the fact that most men will scroll through multiple scenes during a single viewing session and it’s no wonder that this habit creates what is known as an arousal addiction (which is where your mind wants more constant variety).
When you’re then faced with your one, static partner (where you can’t click through to another person) your mind feels under-stimulated and it’s common for men (even under the age of 30 years old) to suffer from erectile dysfunction because of how their brain’s have been rewired.
Long story short, limit your exposure to porn, if not eliminate it from your life all together, in order to have the strongest erections and healthiest sex life possible.
10. Avoid her genitals for as long as possible during foreplay
Our brains have two kinds of pleasure systems… consummatory pleasure, an anticipatory pleasure.
Anticipatory pleasure is what we experience when we are in the state of desiring or craving something (for example, the hit of dopamine you get when you see your food being brought out to you in a restaurant).
Consummatory pleasure is the kind of pleasure that we experience when we (you guessed it) consume the thing we desire (food, sex, human touch, etc.).
Sexual tension (and a lot of sexual pleasure) is largely centred around being in a state of anticipation.
So, during foreplay, build up the sexual tension by going everywhere other than your partner’s genitals first.
For example, if your partner enjoys being kissed on the neck/shoulder area, then spend a few minutes lightly breathing on the nape of her back, behind her ear, and over the part of her shoulder where her bra strap would normally fall. Start very gently. Let your breath and lips do most of the work to begin with and simply graze her skin.
In the vast majority of your sexual play sessions, spend enough time on the preparatory phase that when you eventually go to put your fingers between her legs, you’ll have no doubt that she’ll already be dripping wet by the time you touch her.
Remember… when in doubt, slow down, tease more, and build anticipation.
11. Wear deodorant and cologne that she loves
Your partner is the one who has to smell you more than you do.
Find a scent of deodorant and cologne that both of you enjoy on you.
You can even go shopping with her for it… which can be it’s own form of foreplay.
12. Just kiss sometimes
Remember when you were in high school and you would make out for hours, and that would be the whole point? Do that again.
How you kiss each other is a good indication of your connectedness. So slow down and really take the time to enjoy each other in a simple, beautiful way. Feel her lips. Smell her hair. Press your body into hers. Take your time.
13. Lavish praise on the parts of her body that she has yet to fully accept
It’s fairly common (and/or inevitable) that the person you’re with has some part of their body that they aren’t deeply in love with just yet.
Ask them what those things are and then help them to see the beauty of those things by lavishing genuine praise on those things.
Feeling attractive, desirable, and uniquely beautiful is highly erotic. And the point isn’t to have your partner become dependent on your approval… in fact, quite the opposite. Think of your praise and attention as a bridge that you build to help your partner transition from self-rejection to self-acceptance. By seeing their body through your eyes, in the short-term, they will come to love their body just as much as you love it.
14. Do the laundry, tidy the area, and set up your bedroom for better sex
It’s often hard to really turn off your mind if you’re surrounded by chores and tasks on your to-do list.
Honour yourself, your partner, and your relationship by removing as many distractions from your environment as possible.
Pick up/do/fold the laundry. Tidy up. Vacuum. Take out the trash. Invest in mood lighting, music, or essential oil diffusers.
15. Go sex toy shopping together
Depending on how you use them, sex toys can amplify orgasms, increase closeness, and add a thrill to your bedroom routine.
16. Have an occasional date night at a nice hotel
Want something even easier than tidying up your place and worrying about the neighbours/kids/pets?
Many couples benefit from having an annual date night at a nice hotel. You don’t have to worry about the social repercussions (assuming that the walls are decently sound-proofed), and you don’t have to do the laundry when you leave. Enjoy!
17. Have sex in new rooms and situations in your house
Sex… it’s not just reserved for the bedroom!
In the shower, on the washing machine, in the bathroom while getting ready in the morning, on the side of a hot tub, in your car while on a road trip… the options are endless.
I also have a client who reported pulling his wife’s pants down and starting to go down on her when she was in the kitchen making herself some food. Do with that information what you wish.
18. Foray into your kinkier side
Kinky sex isn’t just reserved for people adorned in leather in BDSM sex dungeons.
Try some light biting, hair pulling, or spanking with your partner (giving or receiving) and see what you like. You might be surprised.
19. Go on a vacation somewhere warm together
A recent study of 31 million people concluded that your sex life improves when you go on vacation.
Book a quick trip to somewhere warm, get lots of sleep, and spend ample time enjoying each other’s bodies.
You’ll be shaken out of your regular routines, and it will work wonders for your relationship.
20. Take an oral sex class together
In major cities around the world, it’s becoming increasingly common to be able to attend live classes on improving your oral abilities (for men and women).
Do a bit of research and see if there’s anything you can find in your neighbourhood.
Be forewarned, some classes have live demonstrations (on real people, OR on props/vegetables) and others don’t… so make sure you read the fine print of the event page.
21. Schedule a “Spoiling Session”
This is one of the absolute best things you can do for your sex life if you’re in a relationship.
So what is a spoiling session?
A spoiling session is a magical, sexy, multi-purpose exercise that allows you to gain a deeper understanding of your own sexual needs and the sexual needs of your partner, while simultaneously reconnecting you as a couple and melting away the subtle shame and resistance that each partner may or may not have towards sex in general.
A spoiling session is a pre-determined amount of time where one partner (the recipient) gets to have whatever they want done to them/on them/for them, as long as those things fall within the realm of comfort for the giving partner.
22. Gift her with a sensual massage
Ahh, the art of the sensual massage!
If you want to give a woman the night of her life and turn her into a blissed-out puddle of love-mush (that will be talking to her friends about you for weeks afterward), then look no further than the sensual massage.
Everybody likes sex, but the dynamic of a sensual massage is something entirely different. It’s all about her receiving from you.
Whether it’s for an anniversary, a date, or just a Tuesday night, there is nothing else that will leave her feeling so honoured, nurtured, loved, and turned on.
Set the scene, use some coconut oil, start gently, and escalate from there.
23. Earn more money
It has been scientifically validated, time and time again, that you experience a boost of dopamine and testosterone when you make more money.
So, as long as you aren’t killing yourself with cortisol (aka stressing yourself out) in order to make that extra cash, figuring out a way to make a little extra money in your career path could pay dividends in the bedroom for you and your partner.
24. Engage in extended self-pleasuring
One of the most efficient ways to have a more pleasurable sex life is to go deeper into your awareness of your own body.
Set aside time to practice extended self-pleasuring. Preemptively remove any distractions (phones off, kids to bed, etc.), bust out the coconut oil, and let your hands roam free.
25. Figure out what your ideal sex life looks like
Most people go their entire lives without ever slowing down to think about what, exactly, their ideal sex life looks like. When prompted, most of my male clients will simply laugh off the question with an answer like, “Just a lot of it.”
How often do you want to have sex? What does/do your partner/partners look like? What is the emotional tone of the sex you engage in? How long do you engage in the sexual play for? What time of day? Is there music on or off? Lights on/off? The list goes on.
26. Discuss what your ideal sex life looks like with your partner
Insights don’t account for much unless they also translate into actions in your life.
Once you know what it is you want from your sex life, communicate those insights and desires with your partner. And ideally, they do the exercise as well and you can find the most mutually beneficial set of circumstances that meets both of your sexual and physical needs.
27. Do the swirl technique
Most men touch their partners in a boring, predictable, linear pattern. Enter: the swirl technique!
During foreplay especially, use the swirl technique to keep her nerve endings guessing (swirling your hands around lightly in an unpredictable, non-linear way over the whole body). This style of touching makes your partner’s nerve endings crave being chosen next and builds rapid sexual tension and anticipation.
28. Practice the 9-5 technique in order to build your sexual stamina
The 9-5 Technique is a phrase that I coined regarding the most effective way to masturbate in order to help you last longer in bed.
Imagine your sexual arousal on a scale of 1-10. One being you sitting at home knitting, and ten being you at the absolute peak of having an orgasm.
The 9-5 technique is the process of arousing yourself, in a rising and falling manner, up and down, between 5 out of 10 and 9 out of 10.
Some people have called this edging in the past, but it’s a bit different from edging. Edging is the process of riding your sexual arousal wave on the higher end of the spectrum. As in, going from an 8 to a 9… then a 9 to an 8.5… and so forth.
The 9-5 technique is more about taking multiple runs towards the finish line, from a place of low/medium arousal (i.e. 5/10) so that your mind gets an expert understanding of what your orgasmic point of no return feels like (and when to safely back away from it) and your body gets progressively trained in to the fact that you’re allowed to feel sexual pleasure and not have that stimulus mean “I need to cum as quickly as possible.”
Do this even once per week for a minimum of 20 minutes, and you’ll be well on your way to having greater sexual stamina.
29. Become so comfortable with your body that you feel good doing a ‘dudeoir’ photo shoot, and give the photos to your partner as a surprise
Whether or not your physique would sell copies if it were plastered all over the front of a men’s magazine, try your hand at getting a professional photoshoot of yourself done, and gifting them to your partner.
This tip is more about self-acceptance and confidence than it is about committing yourself to working out like a madman in the gym for preparation. Own what you’ve got, and let it show.
Have the photos highlight your partner’s favourite part of your body (assuming you’ve discussed what those things are). And if you don’t know, ask.
30. Practice being more vocal during sex
Many people find it uncomfortable to make any sort of sound during sex. A lot of the time they’re worried they won’t say the right thing or their partner will get turned off by a weird noise and lose interest. But, I can assure you, if you are in a loving relationship with a supportive partner, it’s going to take a little more than an accidental snort to get rid of them… and who knows, maybe you’ll stumble onto a new fetish.
Whether you’re looking to make more noises (grunts, groans, moans, etc.) or you want to use words more often, increasing your communication levels during sex is always a good idea. How else are you going to know what they’re liking and what they aren’t?
31. Stretch more often
A limber body is a happy body. And happy, limber bodies make for better lovemaking.;
You want to be a supple leopard all over, but especially focus on opening up your neck, back, glutes, hips, and calves.
32. Boost your testosterone levels through lifestyle shifts
No article focused on sex tips for men would be complete without a little testosterone talk…
Testosterone is the dominant hormone that affects your levels of sexual desire.
The most significant things that you can do to positively impact your testosterone levels are 1) prioritize 7-8 hours of quality sleep every night, 2) eat a nutrient-dense, whole food diet with ample vegetables and quality fats, and 3) do resistance training (weight lifting) 2-4 times per week focusing primarily on heavy compound lifts (such as squats, deadlifts, pull-ups, and bench press).
33. Boost your testosterone levels through these strange, fringe-y techniques
On the fringier side of things, here are three testosterone hacks that are considerably lesser known.
– Cold showers
While more research is needed to have this tip be super definitive for humans, preliminary studies are promising. Personally, I have found it to be very effective at improving my immune system, mental alertness, and sex drive.
At the end of your normal, hot shower, turn the water temperature all the way to maximum cold for 30-60 seconds. Do this a few times per week and see how your sex drive responds.
– Intermittent fasting
The research on this tip is strong.
It’s a well documented fact that every time you eat something (regardless of it’s quality and/or protein-carb-fat ratio) your testosterone drops momentarily. So if you’re constantly snacking and/or having 6-7 small meals throughout the day, then it’s natural, evolutionarily speaking, that your body wouldn’t need to give you any shot of testosterone to motivate you to go out and hunt for your next meal.
One study even found that short term fasts of twenty four hours induced growth hormone levels by a ridiculous 2000% in humans.
Twenty-four hours is more than most people can handle, or want to prioritize. A simple way into intermittent fasting is to, 1-2x per week, avoid having your first meal until noon. Or, keep all of your caloric intake between a narrow window (for example, only eat between 12-6pm).
– Red light therapy
There is early research showing that shining red light on your chest and testicles can increase your free testosterone levels.
Anecdotally, I have experienced this in my life. Within a couple of weeks of using it for 10 minutes per day, I had a higher sex drive, more energy, and enjoyed faster muscle recovery times and deeper sleeps with more ease.
I use the Joovv red light therapy device on a daily basis, and I absolutely adore it.
On top of the bump in testosterone, both red light therapy and near infrared light therapy have been proven to have significant benefits to skin health. So if you have any issues with eczema, acne scarring, stretch marks, old scar tissue that won’t go away, or any other conditions that result in dry, flaky, or irritated skin, this therapy could also help you with that.
Literally one of my biggest regrets over the last year was NOT taking ‘Before’ photos of my skin before I started using my Joovv on a daily basis. The results are so apparent, that I wish I could show people where I started out. But oh well! Hopefully I’ll be getting some before and after photos from clients of mine that have also started using this device, at which point I will update this article by adding in the photos. Suffice to say, I’m a huge fan of this device, and I highly recommend it.
34. Add to your bedside tool kit
No bedroom setup is complete without a few fun toys under the bed, or inside your bedside table.
– Coconut oil (to be used as massage oil or lube)
– Wrist restraints for light bondage play
– Waterproof blankets (a must-have for any squirters)
– Sex toys for her
– Sex toys for him
– Sex toys for couples
35. Help her lean into her ability to have G-spot orgasms
Much of the squirting literature out there reports that a minority of women (anywhere from 1-6% of women) are able to have squirting orgasms. In my personal experience and professional opinion, I would wager that over 80% of women are able to have squirting orgasms, given the right circumstances.
Help create the right situation in which your partner might be able to lean in to her natural ability to have G-spot and/or squirting orgasms, by reading this deep-dive article on the subject.
36. Explicitly discuss your sexual fantasies with your partner
Do you know what your ideal sex life looks like? If you do, then it’s time to communicate your desires to your partner.
As connected as you might be to your significant other, they aren’t a mind reader.
Have an honest discussion about what it is that you like, and what you would like to try with them in the future.
37. Write an extended love letter to your partner about all of the things you love about your sex life with them
People respond to positive reinforcement.
If you tell your partner what you like about your sex life (and praise them more in general), don’t be surprised if you start seeing and experiencing more of those exact things in your sex life.
38. Engage in intimate touch more often throughout the day
Grab their butt every now and then. Nibble them on the neck. When you kiss them throughout the day, really kiss them. Run your fingers through their hair whenever you’re lazily watching a movie on the couch with each other.
High-touch relationships are relationships that go the distance… and the physical contact will keep the sexual simmer going throughout the day.
Voila! Now your entire relationship is an act of foreplay.
39. Have morning sex
In my opinion, morning sex is often some of the best sex. Sex anytime of day with someone you love is fantastic, but I’m a super-supporter of morning sex. Why? Here’s why.
40. Become a master of going down on her
A lot of guys see oral sex as a brief pit stop en route, rather than a main destination, so they don’t put much energy into honing their skills.
This is all good news for you. Because if you put even a little bit of effort into sorting out your approach and technique, you’ll set yourself miles ahead of the pack. When you’re through, she’ll be blissed out, panting and doe-eyed, looking at you like you’re an absolute rock star.
Settle in. Get comfortable. Take your time. Learn what she likes, use dynamic tension to give it to her, and listen attentively to what her body is responding to moment to moment.
Or, use this article as a starting point in becoming a sexually masterful man when it comes to oral sex.
41. Engage sexually with your partner every day for a month
Many couples (especially couples that have been together for a few years or more) benefit from doing a sexual intimacy challenge in which you both agree to play with each other every day for 30 days straight.
Don’t worry… this doesn’t mean that you have to have penetrative sex where you both orgasm every day for a month straight. If that happens, great. That’s allowed to happen. But this challenge is about simply engaging with each other sexually.
That could look like engaging in deep kissing for twenty minutes. Or giving each other sensual massages. Or 69’ing for an hour, even if the act doesn’t contain any orgasms for either of you.
This practice is about carving out space, and prioritizing your sex life.
Try it out! See what happens. In nearly a decade of coaching couples full time, I have yet to meet a couple that hasn’t benefitted from it immensely.
42. Stop drinking alcohol
Drinking alcohol raises your cortisol levels, and cortisol kills your sex drive and makes you gain weight.
Try cutting out booze for a month and see how you feel.
43. Develop your emotional presence in bed
When it comes to being an amazing lover, your presence, passion, and desire for your lover will trump that twirly tongue thing you can do ten times out of ten.
When it comes to being an amazing lover, above all else, the emotional content behind what you do is the most important tool that you can intentionally develop in order to skyrocket your bedroom prowess. It’s not what you do that wow’s her, its how you do it.
Develop your emotional presence in bed by getting in touch with your body through exercise (gym workouts, dancing, or anything else that you enjoy doing), or working through your blocks to intimacy. To discover more ways to develop your emotional presence in bed, check out this article.
44. Let go of genital focused, performance based sex
Modern men have been raised with the idea that their worth comes from their performance (especially in the realms of work, and sex) and that sexual arousal and stimulation is centred around the genitals.
In truth, there are only two major erogenous zones: her skin and her heart. And yours are the same.
Touch the body all over. Drop into your emotional body and be accessible, not just in a physical sense.
Sex is not about DOING WELL as much as it is about FEELING FULLY.
45. Improve erectile function by trying out the GainsWave method
Do you suffer from erectile dysfunction? Or, are you just looking for a general boost down there?
GAINSWave is the newest (and most promising) therapy that utilizes low intensity shock wave therapy to improve erectile strength and performance for people suffering with erectile dysfunction. Over 50% of men experience challenges with sexual performance (especially as they get older). As they age, blood vessels in the penis deteriorate and fill with micro-plaque which results in decreased blood flow.
The shock wave therapy clears out the plaque, generates new blood vessels in your penis, and generally makes for happier, healthier, stronger erections due to increased blood flow. It’s non-invasive, requires zero medication, and, after 15+ years of clinical studies, has no known side effects.
46. Give them more of what they already want
Are there things that you already know that your partner loves receiving, but you don’t make it a habit of actually giving them those things? If so, you’re not alone.
It’s all too common that the seemingly normal/usual things that we have done that have worked before get put on the back burner in search of something new and different.
If you know she likes receiving massages from you, massage her.
If you know that she loves receiving oral sex from you, go down on her more often.
Does she like extended foreplay with lots of touching, kissing, and sexual tension? Then slow the fuck down and give her that experience.
Give your partner more of what you know they already want, consistently, and watch your sex life grow and deepen organically.
47. Put more intention into your personal hygiene
Personal hygiene is a must when it comes to being a phenomenal lover.
Spend extra time washing yourself in the shower (especially your scalp, armpits, and groin).
Use a mild, unscented, natural soap daily, and an exfoliating glove weekly.
48. Try supplementing for increased libido
Your sex drive is a good overall indicator of how healthy you are. If you are a male and you aren’t waking up with regular erections (especially if you’re a male under 50 years old), then that can be an issue. The happier your body is the more sexual desire it will have.
Remember… “Horny equals healthy.”
Natural herbs and supplements like pine pollen, maca root powder, and beet root extract can improve your erectile function and overall libido levels.
49. Practice semen retention
Your sexual energy is the greatest and most potent form of energy available to you.
You can either squander it or utilize it to its fullest potential and let it supercharge your life.
Emerging studies suggest that, for men, having fewer orgasms could make you into a more productive, driven, and loving person.
Learn how to harness your sexual energy by practicing semen retention, and you’ll feel your zest for life transform overnight.
50. Proactively work through your sexual fears, blocks, and limitations
Regardless of age or gender, everyone has sexual fears, blocks, and limitations.
Sex is an inherently vulnerable act, and so it is extremely common that people build up fears or blocks around their sexuality.
Whether you want to become more comfortable in your body… more confident in your sexual abilities… or you wish you lasted longer in bed, every man has some sexual hang up to traverse.